Let pain be your purpose: carlymorgangross.com

I have a new answer for those who ask me how I started coaching women toward confidence, empowerment, and embodying their sensual, feminine, love. 

“I let pain be my purpose.” 

This is the truth. 

I have always known and held a deep inner knowing that pain is a friend; since it is the place where the light seeps in and through. 

“I am going through this shitty experience so that I can help someone else who is going to go through it too.” 

Even in the most challenging and painful times in my life (physically and emotionally), I have held this knowing in my heart.

The moments I had to skip out on exciting plans and stay home all day and rest because my body was having an allergic reaction.

The times my partner said, “I’m not in the mood,” and my sensual soul had to figure out if it was about me.

The meals that were eaten with no presence or pleasure and left me feeling numbed out from emotion arising before. 

The days I wasn’t seeing myself fully and hid behind the corners of confusion around who I am.

It was all for you. 


Nothing to be feared

We have learned to resist pain and do anything we can to remedy it away. 

Pain alarms the fight or flight response, so it makes sense that we might want to shoo it away instantaneously- we want to relax! 

The problem with this model is trifold. For one, we begin to create an aversion to all types of pain. This means that when we experience any level of it, it will then manifest 10x worse than it has to be simply because the paradigm inside our mind has been afraid of it all along.

Next, when we fear pain, we’re adding stress to an already inflamed system. Pain can be simply described as a build up of pressure internally. When we add fear (and potentially shame) to the mix, we’re toppling quicksand on the problem. 

And finally, we don’t learn the lesson that pain is trying to bring. 


Pain is a messenger

As much as true pleasure has the power to enhance our lives toward wellness and bliss, embracing pain has all the same.

Because pain is a place to awaken.

It’s a space to show you who you are and who your soul wants you to be. 

Nobody said that awakening and becoming your best self was going to be pain-free; but if you allow pain to be your purpose, you might find yourself having a deeper message for the world. 


Your mess is your message 

I was working with a client the other day who wants to be a coach of some kind… leave her corporate job and create work doing what she loves, what she came here to do.

We were looking at where she is an expert and what she can offer to the world and she said, “It’s all just so messy and all over the place. My life. Back and forth.” 

“I can do this. And this. And this. But I still need to heal this. And figure that out.” 

There. That’s it. 

The mess. The pain. The back and forth. The craziness you feel. 

This is a part of your message. 

Your message might even encompass all of it. 

You don’t have to figure it out, and then let the business or the message for the world come. 

You have to use the pain and allow that pain to teach you a lesson for the world. 



This is where your wisdom lies

Your body. Your cells. Getting over the challenge. 

Healing your stagnation, but also it lies in the journey toward healing. 

Your wisdom is in hardship. 

Your wisdom is stored within each fiber of your being. 

Are you willing to make art out of the process of your soul? 

Something remarkable happens when you believe that your pain is for the higher good.

That through your sacred body temple, you are learning a unique code and offering for the world. 

This is empowering.


So, pain does not tear your power away

It doesn’t have to, at least. As long as you don’t let it. 

This is a task in itself. 

To stay in your body, instead of shunning your body.

To create an inner knowing around the mess moving through being for you, instead of attacking you

Pain can be your purpose. 

And your purpose can heal, transform, or uplift the world- in any small, large, tiny, ecstatic, or internal way. 

It is in the understanding of pain… the removal of fear toward it… and the expressing its message out that you learn to use your experience for the greater good. 


And then you don’t need to be perfect

You can let go of not having it all figured out. 

You are in your process. As am I. 

And you can still be of service and share your magnificence with the world. 

The pain doesn’t stop you. Your inner child self does. 

See her, love, her, nourish her, take care of her, and then step it up and let the messiness move you into service from the heart.

I am doing it with you. Let’s rise together.


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