When I first started using a crystal wand, it didn’t feel good at all.
I had been practicing technique with a jade egg for over a year, and I was ready to up-level my self pleasure ritual, so I ordered my first wand.
It got a salt bath, I left it outside for a night under the moonlight, I set intentions into it and then the next day I was excited AF to try the baby out.
My initial experience that day with the wand was one of confusion, because I found quite a lot of numbness, pain, and lack of feeling.
I held a little judgment against myself for a second there before I understood what was happening in my body. The judgment is a program that the collective feminine holds strongly around sex.
“What is wrong with me? Why can’t I feel good?”
There is nothing wrong with you.
What I have now come to understand is that the depths of the vaginal walls + the cervix harden – with stress, judgment, trauma, shame, and all of our society’s conditioning around being “strong.”
We grow up in a world that over-identifies with sex as deep pleasure for a male, and the female body being simply the vehicle for that pleasure.
We are taught to suck in our belly + create rock hard abs + be powerful in the world and we start taking on the programming that we cannot be soft- which goes against pleasure, orgasm, and self healing completely.
We hold in emotion on the regular (until we learn that this creates dis-ease), we repress our bodies natural tendencies of expression, and we hide who we really are.
No wonder pain and numbness surfaces when we decide to strip naked, get intimate, and be bare to ourselves or our lovers. We are literally spread eagle, legs and heart open, and all of that stuff that we suppress is right there on the surface.
Pain surfaces so it can leave.
However as with anything in life, when there is pain, it is not a signal to stop what we are doing all together. It is a signal to take a step back, go slow, breathe, and relax.
If we turned our backs every time we experienced discomfort, very little in the universe would be created. Look at the process of birth. It hurts.
It hurts to become our higher self. It hurts to drop old ways of living that once served. It hurts to learn something thats so new to the system. We have to humble ourselves enough to feel awkward and uncomfortable… and bust through to the other side.
When there is pain inside of the vagina, it does not mean there is anything wrong with you. It means that there is something to release. That’s all. Stored emotion, experience, trauma, pain, numbness, repression, and fear… that we all carry. That you carry not only from your 3D life and experience but from all of the lives that you have lived, all of the karma that you carry, and all of the collective healing you are meant to do in this lifetime.
One of the most important tools any woman in the world can use to feel more pleasure and sexual expansion as well as awakened energy and vitality is called vaginal de-armoring.
I know it doesn’t sound like the sexiest thing in all of the land, but hear me out.
This de-armouring thing is the process of breathing and moving through the pain that gets stored, relaxing and surrendering through to let it go.
Think about getting into pigeon pose in yoga class. At first it hurts quite a bit… and then your body starts softening into it… your breath guides the dropping into the pose.. and eventually you are so relaxed.. and you are releasing so much stored emotion… to the point where getting out of the pose has you feeling like a whole new person.
This is a similar process.
During de-armouring, pressure spots are released, toxins are broken down and the blood flow is increased to the sexual tissues, so that emotional, physical, and psychological healing can take place.
What results from this practice is more energetic space for pleasure. Less blockage to feel- which is noticeable both for you and while making love… for your partner. (He will be able to ride your pleasure to a larger depth, as men can only experience the depth of pleasure that you do.)
It continually amazes me, as I engage in this practice, how much softening can happen and then how much pleasure happens as a result.
Before I knew that de-armouring was a “thing” (think: I just tried using the wand as a pleasure tool getting a little frustrated that nothing was happening) I had no idea that my pussy was in need of deep healing. She was sad, confused, disengaged.
Even doing work with the jade egg couldn’t release all of the numbness inside that I have been able to release with the wand.
When I started practicing de-armouring on a regular basis, it really taught me how much stagnant energy gets stored in the womb and cervix… and how clogged the majority of women’s bodies are.
It’s typical that I find a ‘sore spot’ to work through within every practice. Sometimes they are really easy to release and move through and sometimes it takes time.
When the energy is clogged, we experience less pleasure and turn on, we are less creative, and we don’t feel like our most radiant self.
When the energy is released, we feel continual turn on even throughout the day… and we are more in touch with our endless and infinite kundalini energy.
I believe every woman can benefit from the practice of vaginal de-armouring, but especially if you…
-Feel little or no pleasure during sex
-Are afraid of inserting your fingers or any objects inside of you
-Are constantly in your head during sex.. wondering what your partner is thinking
-Feel stuck, blocked, or disconnected to your body
-Experience yeast infections or other vaginal dis-ease
-Experience low self esteem and confidence
-Are out of touch with your power as a woman
-Want to experience internal orgasm and create more pleasure in yourself and your partners sex life
The tool of the trade
In the Tantric tradition of healing sexual wounds, you can find wisdom on vaginal de-armouring performed by a practitioner or a partner with a finger.
Nothing against that, but I am personally all about self healing within every avenue we can reach.
Using a crystal wand for this practice is the most effective, because it’s likely that your fingers won’t be able to reach and release all the hardness around your cervix.
Plus, you get the powerful resonation of energy and healing from the crystal inside of your body.
Which crystal should you use?
I generally tell people that whichever crystal you feel the most “called to” is the one to go for. That’s your intuition working.
Other than that… you can choose a crystal based on its metaphysical properties and what you feel that you need.
I’ve created a PDF guide that will help you choose which crystal wand to use.
Get it here.
I recommend ordering your crystals from HERE not only because I have a coupon code for you hehe (ASHAEPLEASURE at checkout) but because they are incredibly high quality and from an incredible source.
In the guide, I share with you how I use each wand- because let’s be honest… they are all great.
There is not one better than the other, they simply have different qualities and they bring different states of being to you.
For example, I really like using my amethyst wand when I want to highly connect with my intuition and the divine, and I use my rose quartz wand when I want to focus on heart healing.
The rest of my guidelines and examples are in the PDF.
How to De-Armour for Maximum Healing + Pleasure
The practice is not about pleasure- at least at first. It’s about release, processing, tears, anger, and deep feeling.
You must give yourself complete permission to feel everything that arises- emotion, physical pain, memory… all of it.
I created a PDF guide for you to teach you the steps for a proper de-armouring session.
It’s important that your whole body feels loved and cared for, and that you go about the session in a way in which your whole being can receive.
You are a sexual, sensual, erotic, pleasure-filled being.
It takes release work of everything that is not you to return to this nature.
I’m not going to pretend that its a fast process… I still have some stuff come up that needs to be released on the regular. Its the nature of our sensitive shells and the world we live in.
What I can promise is that you will be happy you took the step to heal. It will be felt throughout your entire being and from everyone that you touch.
Happy healing my loves.