I want you to lovingly move away from thinking that sex + sexuality is for pleasure and pleasure alone.
That’s just the surface, the tip of the ice.
Your sexuality is for awakening.
It’s for feeling comfortable in your skin.
It’s for channeling and removing the impurities to feel.
Your sexuality is about opening your vessel to your own wisdom, it’s deep inside there.
Creativity. Kundalini awakening. Healing.
Coming home to the body.
There is so much SHAME in the world around sexual energy, and part of that reason is because we’ve been using it in ways that don’t honor its depth.
We’ve been fucked and banged into a mentality that sex is dirty- even Self sex- and we have convinced ourselves to remain in the shadow of our desire.
What happens when we stay there?
We start confusing loving energy for sexual energy… we don’t know our true capacity for ecstasy… we honestly start pounding dis-ease into the system that is designed to feel endless waves of bliss. We shame our desires, our bodies, our function for pleasure to feel
If you want to re-claim your sexual energy for the light and learn how to work with it with honor… it starts in your self practice- not with your partner or partner to be. It starts with your own hands, your own intentions, and your own curiosity to create.
Cultivating a sexual practice with yourself is also a potent and honestly a necessary piece on the ride of your spiritual awakening path.
There are keys and gems within the exploration, understanding, and mastering of your sexual energies- and the only way to bring that level of embodied sexual devotion to your partner is by doing the internal work yourself.
For this post, we’re going to start with and stick to your own sexual practice for awakening because its the first step. I’ll write a post about making love, soon.
More than Masturbation
There’s nothing wrong with masturbation, however… its not what we want to be practicing when we’re on the path of awakening- at least the majority of the time. Masturbation, defined in my own terms, is basically the engagement in self-sex for the means of reaching climax or orgasm. It’s perfectly natural and healthy, but theres very little depth that can be embodied, studied, and circulated in this domain.
On top of that, masturbation basically teaches you to use your partners body for masturbation, too. Many couples are simply using each other for masturbation, in a sense. There is no great intimacy, union, and connectivity in this practice.
A New Sexual Space
Depending on where you are on your journey, you’re going to need to re-create a whole new sexual space for yourself. A whole new reality of what it means to engage in self sex.
You may have previously only thought of self sexuality as masturbation, and so this is about learning a whole new platform for pleasure.
Spiritual sexuality starts with mindful touch. It then reaches to the exploration of your body, your energy, your patterns, your desires, and your ability to circulate chi.
I encourage you to play- lovingly touch all parts of yourself.
Intentional and erotic touches will help to tell your body that you love it, and it will also ignite different unresolved issues and traumas inside of you, which then will require you to be with them.
You have to continue to let go of the idea that sexual practice is always going to feel pleasurable in a certain way and that orgasm is always going to come. That is only one aspect of the space. It’s much broader and more profound than it is commonly portrayed.
Try simply breathing and running your hands up and down your belly. Try heavy touch, light touch, a scratch here and there. Your self sex practice might be as simple as that.
Engage your Curiosity, Child
Let’s take all the seriousness out of the bedroom.
Play. Laugh. Dance. Make art.
The only way I’ve found all the erotic, kinky, healing, and witchy aspects of myself in the bedroom is because I’ve been curious as to whats there.
What happens when I breathe this way?
What happens when I slap myself there?
What happens when I hold my breath?
What happens when I call in angels and guides?
What happens when I use props?
What happens if I dance for 20 minutes opening my hips, and then start touching myself?
From there…you will find… that sexuality is a roadmap to many treasured states of existence.
Here are the most profound places I have gone. (Remember this is just speaking about self-sex, not with a lover.)
Practice for Pleasure
Pleasure is the most foundational, 3D, and apparent function of self sex. And pleasure is healthy, all around. We need to remember that we are physical human beings and we incarnated in this time in a lot of ways TO experience pleasure. If we didn’t need pleasure, we wouldn’t all be so fixated on money, love, sex, and food. Pleasure is healthy, when mindful and from the space of heart.
When we feel sexually pleasured and full, we get to be our most radiant selves. On a physical level, pleasure moving freely through the body circulates all the feel-good hormones through the system.. increasing our levels of satisfaction and joy. When you feel good in your body, you feel good in your life.
Practice for Healing + Removing Blocks
Sexual energy can be circulated in the system to remove both physical pain and dis-ease as well as mental blockages and programming that keeps us small, closed, and alone. I truly believe that a really good orgasm is like a negative program de-constructor. Because its such a high vibration feeling inside the body, it works to remove anything in its field thats lower than it.
The body also stores a lot of inflammation, pain, and illness that sexual energy can heal. I always tell my clients that I got into this work in the first place from an intention of healing my hormonal imbalances and my terrible digestive terrain.
Practice to Get Into + Love Your Body
Many of you who are having spiritual awakenings can go so far into other realms that you start forgetting about your physical body. Either that, or its too painful and dense to be in your body (lets be honest, it can be hard!) that you start completely avoiding your physicality and removing yourself from the love and worship available for yourself.
Having a regular self pleasure practice will help you ground into your body, let go of outside energies tearing your heart into theirs, and it will ultimately help you love and respect yourself in all the areas that are lacking love.
Practice to Cultivate Chi
Taoist, Egyptian, and Tantric traditions have been using the circulation of sexual energy for the cultivation of Chi for centuries. Life force energy is what makes us feel alive. It helps us stay sovereign in our own lane, in our bodies, and offers us an awakened way to experience life.
By doing so, you are actively awakening your kundalini energy… which might lead to spontaneous healings, intense moments of spiritual highs, visions, and deeper cultivation and connection to God.
You are already cultivating chi in your meditation and yoga practices as well as other movement and meditation techniques- here’s another one to throw in to the mix.
Practice to Reclaim Your Sexuality
Many people have suffered from some kind of sexual abuse from extreme self-denial, intoxicated sex without deep desire, to rape, molestation, and other abuses that have you withdrawing from your true sexual nature.
Self pleasure is a way to lovingly reclaim your sexuality from past pains, without a practitioner, only you.
By doing so, you start unraveling your shadow, dark, and repressed desires within the realm of sexuality… and you learn to express them and heal them over time, through love.
Practice for Creativity
A regular sexual practice unlocks your sacral energy and brings inspiration into your field.
This is your chance to be your own muse, over having one or clinging to one on the outside.
Muse yourself and watch the art evolve.
Practice for Manifestation
Sex magic is so real. It’s so very real. Whether you want more confidence, love, health, compassion, money, abundance, travel, beauty, art, or adventure in your life… (or anything else for that matter)… you can use a self-sex practice to evoke and bring in these either physical objects or mental aptitudes.
I’ve used sex magic practices to clear my skin of acne, to feel confident enough to get on video and expand my business, to bring in clients and money, to connect with a lover who is far away, and so much more.
Practice to Stay Open
The feminine spiritual practice (in particular) is to open the body-mind in ecstatic devotion and love. When we are opening ourselves in every moment…. when we are relaxing the grips around the heart… when we are walking through life in devotion and commitment to our openness.. we radiate from the inside out. We experience radical love and living, and we begin living in the divine flow of our lives.
A self sex practice clears so much from the auric field, physical body system, and opens the heart and mind to Self and the Whole.
A session should leave you cracked open to love, depth, and spirit.
Could you ask for anything more?
If you are a man and you are reading this, the whole article applies- as long as you are practicing self-preservation and teaching yourself how to orgasm without releasing cum. When you do that too much, it starts working in the opposite direction and releasing important energies from your body that help you stand in the power for who you are.
As always, I encourage you to look at yourself as a whole system and to start getting to know yourself in a deep way before joining with a partner.
It can help you to understand what is in your energy and what you are bringing into the bedroom with a lover and can only increase pleasurable dynamics of love and connection.
Moving forward, I always suggest taking your understandings and working with your own beautiful intuition to find your own practice up in your sexual space.
That being said… I will be launching a self-sex school for women embodying ascension in the bedroom, in the beginning portion of 2018.
If you want to stay in the loop around the opportunity to join that magical space, leave your email here. (You’ll also get my vaginal de-armouring practice– absolutely necessary for ultimate pleasure and healing!)